ConversationswitCoyfee

Archive for the ‘Adulterous women’ Category

ConversationswitCoyfee presents A Man’s Point Of View: Why Women Cheat

In A Man's Point Of View, A man's Version of the Dating Game, Adulterous women, Ask the black man, Dating and the Single Woman, Uncategorized, What is True Love?, Why Women Cheat on August 30, 2009 at 4:20 am

Well folks what do you say? Do you agree with the writer? Why do women cheat? Is it that some women want their cake and to eat it too..

Let me know what you think?

Coyfee signing off

 

A Man’s Response To Why Women Cheat Posted Aug 18

So, I’m reading this article on the ‘Hello Beautiful’ site titled, 3 Reasons Why Women Cheat, and I have decided to give you women some advice based on what I have read:

 Feeling Lonely in a Relationship

Ok, realize that men sometimes go through this as well so it’s not gender based when it comes to feeling lonely. The expectations placed on a man while in a relationship should be discussed as opposed to being expected, ESPECIALLY if your man happens to be popular or very driven when it comes to his career or work. If you are feeling lonely, it is up to you to include him in other activities that he may not normally be involved in where you wouldn’t feel so lonely. Also, keep in mind that, just like women, guys like to hang out with the fellas every now and then, so if your expectations are greater than he is willing to give, then you may have to resort to the infamous female support group! Otherwise, occupy your time with your passion and goals so that way when the two of you DO get up, the time together will be cherished even more while both of you are trying to achieve personal goals and dreams!

 

Feeling Taken for Granted

 As stated above, men go through the motions when feeling like they are also taken for granted. But instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the positive and as with any relationship, whether work, play or friendship, this can be a task. But as with any task, there has to be common ground so that it can be completed to satisfaction! What most women tend to do is focus on their needs and themselves when having a conversation about ‘us’. You also need to be open to hearing and catering to his needs and wants as well so that way BOTH of you can be equally fulfilled! I hate to word it like this but, it has to be a mutually binding agreement so that way no one feels taken for granted, you give a little, I give a little and hopefully, we both benefit greatly!

 

You Are Leading Separate Lives

Well, as with anything in life, you grow, sometimes together, sometimes apart. It should be the focus of both partners to extend themselves to each other so that way both of you are still on the same page when it comes to a common bond which should be love. We can’t help who we are or who we become based on life experiences and what most women (and men!) don’t understand is that it is BECAUSE of you that he decides to take another direction in life, whether negative or positive. We should make each other stronger but at times, we tend to get weak out of being used to being with the one we are with, so we can and do get complacent. So, communication may be the most important tool in this situation so you can understand what the other is going through in order to want to stay in each others live! You can lead a separate, yet together life if both parties are getting what they want out of it, specifically on an emotional level. But you MUST discuss it with each other!

 

Revenge Can Be Bittersweet

This is definitely a hard thing for women and ESPECIALLY men! Since society accepts cheating men more than they accept cheating women, we, as men, are distraught when we find out that our woman has cheated, even if we were caught first. Hey, don’t blame us; society has made it acceptable for us to get away with cheating! Nonetheless, if it’s within a marriage, when you take your vows, you said for better or for worse, so you must remember that when you do find out as we, as men, have to think along the same lines. As far as a lover, I would say it should be based on what is transpiring in the relationship as to why the cheating was done and if it can be, not only forgiven, but placed aside for the good of the relationship.

 

The Ego Needs Stroking

As far as ego, I can safely say that the male ego is more robust than a woman’s ego, so we are at a disadvantage when it comes to that, especially if we are attractive or have a status or have money or have all three! Women are always eyeing us, trying to get our attention and with the slightest bit of neglect from you, make it easier to submit to the desires of a woman who is obviously trying to give us the goods. So, if anything, if our egos need stroking, guess what, something else of ours will get the stroking.

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ConversationswitCoyfee presents A Man’s Point Of Veiw

In Adulterous women, Ask the black man, Forgiveness, Uncategorized, women talk on July 25, 2009 at 12:11 am
Good Morning folks!
 
This is Coyfee. I have been busy seeking out interesting topics for our discussions. I think the one below posted by theblackman is a great start. I would love to know how guys feel about the below story. How would you handle it if it were you? Would you still be able to remain in a marriage like the one described below?
 
We are all aware that the Bible instructs married men and women to only commune with one another. So we know what the christian concept is, however, what has caused this beautiful black successful woman to stray from her vows? What has created this unfillable void in her that has pushed her into this lifestyle? Will her husband be able to remain in their marriage? Many times it is the woman that is the one being cheated on, not this time.
 
Guys tell our readers your opinions on this topic?
That’s it for now..Coyfee signing off…Much Luv To Ya!!!
 
Talk to me let me know how you really feel? Talk2Me..We want your comments…

 

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Right here is where you can get an objective view on love, relationships, sex, career and social issues from a Black Man’s perspective. Email your questions to asktheblackman@gmail.com.

I Am A Young,Newlywed Wife That Cheats On My Loving Husband. Please Help.

Dear TBM,

I am a newly wed (I have been married about two months) and from the outside it seems like I have it all. I am 22 years old. I just graduated college and getting ready to enter law school. I am beautiful,successful, and just bought a new house. You name it, and I’ve got it; But yet still I am unhappy. I have been to therapy, counseling, etc… I’ve read self help books, and I meditate. There is still a void which leads to my problem. To fill this void, I tend to seek male attention, and then have affairs. I love my husband, but I can not seem to stop sleeping with other men. I know it’s wrong. I know better but I do it anyway. Can you give me some advice on this?

-Candy

The Blackman:

Hi Candy,

I find this interesting scenario because you always hear about the husband cheating on the wife and now you are hearing about the wife cheating on the husband. I am not trying to point you out but wives cheating on husbands is just as commonplace in marriage and it is not because their husband cheated on them.

My first thought is to know what your relationship is like with your father. Sometimes when a relationship between a father and daughter is not good and the daughter may feel not accepted by her father, they tend to try to fill that void with other men. So getting attention from men and satisfying them is a common way to try and fill that void. It is only temporary so that is why a woman will go from one man to the next.

Another possibility is timing. You are 22 years old. You are young and perhaps you are just not ready to settle down. You may truly love your husband but you may not be ready for marriage. Women can want to sow their wild oats as well. You just not might not be ready for a commitment.

You should really look into the situation with your husband and ask yourself these questions.. Does he give you enough attention? Does he please you sexually? Does he really make you happy? If all of these answers are yes, then I would say then you may not be ready to be in a committed situation. If the answers are no, then that is the reason why you are trying to fill the void because there are elements missing in your relationship. You would need to figure out if you both could really move forward together and you should be upfront with him about your feelings.

The last thing possibility could be that if this is just a sexual thing. If you are fully content with your husband but you just like to have sex with other people at times then you may want to look at the option of an open marriage. Some couples have a great relationship/marriage but they just like to be physical with other individuals at times. Nothing more than that. Both parties really have to be on the same page for that.

Definitely figure out what it is and be honest with yourself about it. If this happening two months into a marriage this is only going to get worse, cause drama, and people will get their feelings hurt in which one of those people could be you.

Good luck with your situation.

TBM