Archive for the ‘Black Church’ Category

ConversationswitCoyfee presents Ask The Black Man:Can A Man Wait Until Marriage To Have Sex?

In A Man's Point Of View, A man's Version of the Dating Game, Ask the black man, Black Church, Can A Man Wait Until Marriage To Have Sex?, How to successfully date, Uncategorized, What is True Love?, women talk on August 15, 2009 at 1:18 am

Good morning! I hope your week is progressing in a productive manner.. I have a old topic with a new spin for discussion..Waiting until marriage. Does anyone do that anymore? It’s sort of hard when there is so much divorce and maybe having other men/women to compare your new lover to is the root of the problem.  You tell me..

Below the Black Man addresses a young woman who has chosen to wait to have sex until married ..Let’s see what he has to say about this spicy topic…

Have a great weekend..

Coyfee signing off….


Can A Man Wait Until Marriage To Have Sex?

Posted Aug 13

Hello Blackman, I am a 21-year-old African American Christian woman who is saving herself for marriage. Quite frankly, I feel like I am one of the last of a dying breed of excellent women. It seems to be hard to find a good black man who appreciates me for who I am. What man wants to deal with a girl who won’t satisfy his sexual needs until after marriage? CD


The Blackman: Hi CD, I think the way society is designed these days it is tough to find that match. It is not impossible though. Just like anything else, once you find something great you should cherish it. Society has transformed a lot throughout the years where pre-marital sex is not looked at as taboo anymore. In some ways it has helped certain situations and in other cases it has not. For example it has stopped some people from getting married and realizing that lust was the premise of their relationship. On the flip side it has made someone overlook a person that they would overall be compatible with but since pre-marital sex was not in the equation, they looked past the person. The age of when people get married has changed as well.


Nowadays it is common for people to get married in their 30’s, unlike in the past most people were married with children in their 20’s. Sex has become a big emphasis in our society, rather than religion where premarital sex is forbidden. This factor makes it tougher for people to abstain until marriage. A majority of the things that you see in the multimedia platform of our society has a sexual innuendo to it. Another makes it difficult in your case because the men in your age range are going through their sexual prime so they may not be looking to settle at that point of their lives.


Look at yourself as a diamond in the ruff and be open to receiving a gem for a lifetime partner. There are men out there that will respect the fact you want to save yourself for marriage and will see your value beyond sex. Since you are a Christian woman, a good place to look for man who will value that is at Church. That’s not saying that you can’t find men elsewhere that will honor that but they can relate where you are coming from. Be patient and you will find someone that will appreciate you. Good Luck, TBM


ConversationswitCoyfee presents In Black Church:Pastor’s Ex Reveals “Life After The Down Low”

In Black Church, Black Men on Down Low-Pastors, Child abuse, homosexuality, Spiritual healing, Uncategorized, women talk on August 5, 2009 at 12:41 am

This is Coyfee attempting to share about the below subject.  I am not comfortable commentating on this. I will only add that Ingrid is not alone.  It has become as infectious as the Swine Flu.


What? Pastors-Men in leadership..taking the innocence away of not only our daughters but our sons also..It is a shame and a disgrace..But what of the women and families that these men (pastors) leave behind to wear the garment of shame..Please pray for the families that are left to pull the shredded fabric together to attempt to design cloaks that will once again cover them..

Coyfee signing off..

Pastor’s Ex Reveals “Life After The Down Low”

By Sheeri Mitchell May 14, 2009 2:39 pm

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Nearly two years ago, Ingrid Michelle was leveled by the shocking truth. Her then-husband of 12 years revealed that he had engaged in oral sex with a young man they both knew. The problem? Apart from being her spouse at the time of the “incident” her husband had been a youth pastor at a thriving church. And the young man? A former member of the flock. After recovering from the initial shock, Ingrid would be confronted with mounting evidence and eyewitness testimony that she had married not only a man who had been living life on the down low, but who was also an accused pedophile.  Shocked and disgusted to her core, Ingrid would have to pick up the pieces of a shattered life and begin again.  It would get much worse before it got better.

Below is her story in her own words:

I’ll never forget May 27th 2007 for as long as I live. Maybe I should, but right now it sticks out like a sore thumb. Contrary to it being the day of the greatest catastrophe in my personal history, the Southern California morning sun was in rare form. It was perfectly warm with a delicious hint of a Sunday breeze. The day started off as any day would. We went to church and came home to enjoy a quiet relaxing afternoon while Bobby grilled ahi tuna, fresh green onions and garlic. The salad that would be birthed was one we had mastered and my mouth watered anticipating the taste. We grubbed as if the last supper and lay around the remainder of the day. Devan tuckered out long before our expected television marathon and Bobby and I nestled into our king sized bed on either side of him with remote in hand to watch our favorite line up – Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters. Just after the credits rolled, Bobby turned the television off. My initial thought was to slide under the covers and turn the lights out but I heard him take a deep breath as if he wanted to say something. I thought nothing of it, but it was when he faced me that things felt a little weird. We had just finished chuckling and trying to figure out who did what on Wisteria Lane and suddenly the mood instantly became serious.

“Okay! I have something to tell you,” he said.

There was a pregnant pause. There was something slightly eerie about this particular silence. It wasn’t anything that I had ever felt. The once smile that graced my face became a little disconcerted. I carefully made eye contact with him. I could feel the palpitations of my heart. His stare was drenched with garden of Gethsemane typed anguish. I knew it was something bad.

“Okay!” He took a deep sigh. “So…I’ve been smoking weed for a while now and I exchanged oral sex with Elliott.”

There it was; a massive head on collision. In the spirit, I could see the carnage as it lay in wake and embarrassed for him, I could no longer gaze his way. My head instantly became a fog as I drifted. It felt like an out of body experience where my entire life seemed to flash before me. I kept thinking to myself, did he just say he and Elliott had sex? Elliott? Elliott? Is this the same Elliott that we once mentored in our youth ministry? The same Elliott who was molested as a young lad and then was subsequently emasculated by his domineering mother? Was this the Elliott that Bobby spoke of? The Elliott whose dancer’s body enticed a number of young girls and had adult women yearning? Was this the same person? ‘Please God!’ I pleaded within me. He was someone that Bobby was supposed to have been keeping accountable to his walk with Christ, particularly as it related to his sexual confusion. Was he saying to me that the very person he led as youth Pastor and mentored, he slept with?

As I tried to wrap my mind around what he had just disclosed about him and Elliott, I kept thinking, ‘damn it!’ This m’fer was in my house somewhere giving and receiving a blow job from a young man that was just shy of being a minor and I’m out in the hot ass sun selling hand-painted t-shirts trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents while fulfilling our supposed dream. Was he serious? Elliott was supposed to have visited us for a collective visit to see the Dance Theatre, not to be in bed with my husband smoking marijuana together like some out of control high school sex fiend. My head was spinning. I couldn’t think. I stared at the wall for what felt like hours. I couldn’t really grasp what my “husband” had just revealed to me. Was this really happening to me? This was something that I would read about. This was an Ebony article, not my life an Oprah story, not my life. What in the hell was I to do with this…

ConversationswitCoyfee presents Poverty and The Single Mother

In Black Church, Forgiveness, Homeless Women, women talk on July 11, 2009 at 10:02 am


Poverty and The Single Mother

This essay is a brief of a story that I read in college. I must be honest and share that I am at lost on the author but the feelings reflected thru the writings are truly life altering…please read and reflex..lastly repositon your own thoughts,prejudices, and fears about the subject of homelessness… Coyfee from ConversationswitCoyfee

The thought of poverty woke up fears inside of me that I have harbored for years. The fear that as a single parent myself and my children might end up homeless. I have cried many nights when there seemed like the life she describes so vividly, would be a reality for us, again. Watching a homeless person while she brought me into her world. I could smell the stink she she mentioned. I could see the decay on her teeth. I could feel the shame as her hope crawled out the window leaving her desperate and in deep despair. Please my friends as we watch our president make his way to other countries that have starving and homeless mothers everywhere,please do not turn a blind eye to the ones in your very own cities, your neighborhoods, the subway or train stations, the bus stations, the resturants..Please I plead with you..lay the judgement and prejudice down..pick up the commandment to love thy neighbor as thyself.

 Can you see her skin aging prematurely because of the constant emotional pain. I do not want to imagine the valley of decision she had to live in. She never slept because she had to always stay awake to fight the roaches away from her kids. Can you imagine having to give your children sour milk because the refrigerator does not work? Could you imagine the smell of urine on the mattress where you have to sleep and without any sheets on it. I believed she was pleading with us to look at those afflicted with poverty thru an angry heart, anger that will help you help her and others like her. She reminds us that the poor are always silent.

She begs us not to be silent any longer. She is pleading with us to bring attention to this peculiar institution of poverty, not to allow the world to turn a blind eye to those who are silent.   The purpose of this writing is to bring national attention to the injustice of poverty. I believe does an excellent job of inviting you into her world. She is so descriptive about the smells of urine and sour milk, that you have to smell the stink. Her world is one of dread and pain. Her world is desperate and has little hope for change. This story made me realize that no matter how hard it seems it is not as hard as her life was. I am still blessed and my children are fortunate to have a home with clean linen. They are blessed to have hot meals and clean clothing. We must focus on irradiating poverty, this should be one of the many issues before the state legislators. Our government needs to address this peculiar institution, the institution of poverty. If we will ensure success in our country and improvement in our economy we must address the poverty.

My friends as I think about our role in society, in our neighborhoods, in our entertainment venues, in our places of work and lastly in our places of fellowship; why are their families still homeless? Why are single mothers still having to decide to work or take care of their children. We have saw several cases where young mothers must leave their children home alone to go to work. If they do not work, they do not eat. Why? I desire to stir up your spirit and possibly push you off of yuor comfortable chairs and into a place I call “do something”. What should do? I am so glad you asked. There hundreds of agencies that need volunteers. I am certain that some of neighbors could use extra pampers or maybe milk. Food. Clothing. I do encourage donations but often the red tape between the agency and the family is far to lengthy.  Just give a little something..just a lit..I promise you will feel better the moment you do..

Can I share with you that myself and my children were in a shelter for about three to five months. It was embarassing, shameful, and really difficult. My now ex husband had become abusive and he had choked me in front of my children. I will be somewhat opague about the happenings that drove my family and myself to a shelter. I believe that we as people often pre-judge a person by what we see. So now understand when people found out that we lived in a shelter; they of course thought maybe I was on drugs, or alcohol. Maybe I wouldn’t pay my bills or I was just a lazy mother that sat around and waited on the government to take care of me. Maybe I had decided to get pregnant to keep getting more money from the government. None of that was true. My job at a fortune 500 company had ended and my children and myself were living off my unemployment. Their dad would not pay the support that had been ordered. I must share with you that it is dreadly challenging to go from $1400 dollars every two weeks to $1000. Please keep in mind that when we were married we accumulated quite a bit of debit that was left for me to deal with. I think should also include the fact that I am the proud but single mother of five amazing teenagers, age 18.5 to 12.5.

The shelter was crowded. There were two families to each room. I did make friends and created some lifelong friendships but the fact remains that when we listed the shelter as our address we were looked at differently. Landlords would not rent to us easily. Agencies gave us the damaged donations and were quite hurtful in counseling sessions. This was one of the most painful experiences that we (my family) has had to walk thru. I only share this in hopes that the next time you see a mother and her child(ren) you will allow the Spirit of God to usher in a sense of compassion and not judgement.

Lastly wanted to share this cartoon, though not completely about women and children. I believe it is a clear reflection of America …

Talk2Me>>>Tell me how this story possibly changed your opinion of homelessness? If not tell me why you believe it didn’t?

Please leave comments…


Conversations wit Coyfee presents A Man in the Mirror-The B-Fade Story

In Believer who falls into sin, Black Church, Christian Hip Hop, Entertainment, Forgiveness, Spiritual healing on July 8, 2009 at 7:49 am

A Man in the Mirror-The B-Fade Story

Hello family!

This is Coyfee from ConversationswithCoyfee. I wanted to take a bit of your time and introduce you to another amazing lyricist. Who? Yeah, I got you curious now.. Andre Woods aka B-Fade born September 21, 1976… His story of pain and struggle as he made the decision to embrace Christ will awaken a new compassion for the new convert. His life has been seen by some as failure but I will expose the constant attacks of the enemy on his life, his ministry, and of course Matrimony.

Before we jump right into this interview and his story, I encourage you to take some time and remember who you were before Christ. For many of us who we are right now was not who we were while seeking Christ. How many times have we fallen (in secret of course) to bitterness, unforgiveness, drugs, alcohol, pornography, fornication, adultery or even pride. Please if this is where you are ..stop now and confess these things before our Lord Jesus Christ..Are you done? Great now there is absolutely nothing between you and the Lord Jesus Christ.

For those of that have never accepted Jesus..well I would never leave you out..ponder about making this life changing commitment to Jesus as I share this man’s struggle to walk in the paths of righteousness ..

Now to the interview::::

ConversationswitCoyfee: Hello B-Fade. We are very excited to have you as one of our featured artist. Can you tell us how did you come up with the name B-Fade?

B-Fade: COZ (my best friend) and I used to rap together before we got saved and I was known as Fade back then before conversion. After my conversion I became known as Brother Fade. COZ was known as KOZY-K before conversion and just changed the name. GOD’s Child was already working as a Gospel rapper. We were all members of the same church. So we started the group called the ‘Soldiers of Righteousness’. Shortly after this the group seperated and a group was formed with COZ and myself called ‘Christian Brothas.’ I was promoting an event called Soul Saver 2004 on the World Hit Gospel Show (106.1 KMEL), the number 1 radio station in the Bay Area..The DJ, Tinka was really the one that branded me with name B-Fade. I had a passion to be transformed into what God called me to be. B-Fade chosen this meaning to express his goal for his life and ministry-Be Faithful And Dedicated Eternally
ConversationswitCoyfee: Wow! That’s a very powerful name. I would think that the enemy has tried the persona that the name represents.

B-Fade: Yes, indeed. More than you know

ConversationswitCoyfee: Tell the readers about some of the challenges you have had to walk thru before your conversion?

B-Fade: Man, where do I begin? I guess at the beginning, I was raised in a family where alcohol, violence, and partying were normal. I really had not seen any other type of life. As a child at parties, I would drink the drinks that were left on tables by the adults. I didn’t know that then but that would open doors to a constant struggle with Alcoholism. I grew up in that life doing just what everyone else did, you know. Rapping, drugs (selling and using), fighting, women and just wilding out. Just doing whatever with no thought of tomorrow.

October 1994 I found myself in prison. I got in a fight and I beat the guy so bad. I still didn’t understand all that was in me, the anger. During that fight, I broke almost every bone in his body. While I was waiting in jail to go to court for this issue, other crimes came up and after a lengthly jury trial I was sentenced two years. After prison, you would have thought I would change but no; not yet.

ConversationswithCoyfee: Tell me what really made you change?

B-Fade: I had started using cocaine and alcohol together. This was definitely not a good choice. Even though the cocaine was a recreational drug. My drug of choice was alcohol. During this time I noticed that I was more anxious than usual. However, I kept drinking. Soon I noticed that the anxiousness turned into full blown panic attacks. This was a bit hard to handle for me. I began thinking about stopping but every time I tried to stop..the attacks would worsen. I felt trapped. If I keep drinking then the next day I would have a hangover and a panic attack would start. If I tried to quit ..the panic attack would start..

ConversationswitCoyfee: That must have been a really hard place to be in. What happened next?

B-Fade: I knew Elder Derrick Mann from before, back in the day. EIder Mann was holding a Bible Study in this ladies house near where I used to sell drugs. So I went to Bible Study and the topic was ‘Not being promised to wake up the next day. Everybody was leaving and it seemed like I was all alone. Suddenly a panic attack began and I started to run back to the house where the Bible Study had been held. I started beating on the door but no one answered. I thought I was having a heart attack ..I was sure I was dying. I begin “praying Lord please, just let me live ..I promise to change..I promise to change my life and live for you.” So I started running toward uncoming traffic. I was trying to stop anybody that could help me. One of my homeboys’ girlfriend stopped and dropped me at the hospital. However, the doctors did not find anything physically wrong with me. I contacted Elder Mann he took me to his church called Church Of Jesus Our Lord. This Church was what they called a word church. The teaching was straight out of the word. The pastor’s name is Elder Phillip Tindsley. I was learning a lot about the new life that had been made available in Christ Jesus. The teaching was raw and uncut; easy to understand.

I was still rapping with folks in the secular industry even though I had accepted Christ Jesus. Elder Mann who was into Gospel Rap, taught us how to use our talent for the Kingdom of God. He eventually became a producer in the Gospel Rap genre. He was so persistent and he really labored with us. He never gave up on us. Elder Mann taught us what being saved was all about. He helped us learn how we could have Rap and Jesus. During all of this I was invited and I did perform with the Ying Yeng Twins in a club. I was still learning about my new relationship with God.. I was still having difficulty changing my lifestyle and didn’t want anyone to know. So I hid it… I pretended that I was straight..I wasn’t comfortable with sharing my weaknesses with anyone.

Our church was full of so much love that one time when I didn’t have any food. A guy at my church offered to get me some food. I thought he would bring like bread and peanut butter or something like that. But he decked our kitchen out. He brought steaks, and everything. I mean my kitchen was butt naked before he blessed me. The guy filled the house up with food. Accolades go out to Elder Marcus Brown for being the hands of God.

ConversationswitCoyfee: I remember you mentioned that your family wasn’t saved when you were young. How did your conversion affect your relationship with your family?

B-Fade: When I was a new convert and I had just started attending church. I lived with my dad. My dad was still drinking and told me if I didn’t drink I had to go. He did kick me out because I wouldn’t drink with him anymore. Now I was thinking this Christian thing must not be that good, cause I am homeless and this I didn’t do anything wrong. But God came thru as I would soon he always does. A couples days later, I got a job with Home Depot. A church member rented the studio in the back of her house for $400.00. I started to begin to believe that God really did hear me. But one thing was missing; a wife and family. I was often lonely and sought to find the woman that had been set aside for me. I battled with lonliness and worked hard to keep my thoughts clean. However, I would fine myself involved in sexual immorality.

Please read parts 2 & 3 for the continuation of this controversial interview.


Conversations wit Coyfee presents A Man in the Mirror-The B-Fade Story-Part 2

In Believer who falls into sin, Black Church, Christian Hip Hop, Entertainment, Forgiveness, Spiritual healing on July 8, 2009 at 7:41 am

Greetings Family

We have been spending time with Andre Woods AKA B-Fade. He is an extraodinary person as well as a minister of the Gospel. He has been sharing with us how his life was before Christ and even of the very personal struggles he faced after he accepted Christ as his Lord. When we left off he was sharing his feelings with us about times of lonliness and the struggle to abstain from sexual immorality. B-Fade was honest to expose his life as a new convert with all of the challenges he faced with money, shelter and also in relationships.

A Man in the Mirror-The B-Fade Story-Part 2

Let’s pick up where we left off with B-Fade telling us about how his first marriage began.

ConversationswitCoyfee: So B, I know you eventually got married. Tell us about how that all came about?

B-fade: The saint, who had rented me the studio, had two daughters. One of the young ladies, would bring me food. She knew I didn’t have a stove and I was impressed with her kindness. At this time, I was still searching for the woman who had my rib. Well, she was extremely kind and I again was lonely. I longed for a women to minister to me, in and out of bed. The thoughts would open the door to a relationship of fornication.

Late one night she came over and the events of that evening changed the nature of our relationship. Now in the meantime, I was still attending services, still seeking God for direction, but sneaking around with her. We had become comfortable with our relationship and would be out in the public often. So we would come up with these elaborate tales to cover the tracks which would often lead to spouts of fornication. However, after the dust would settle she would rush to tell the Elder what we had done. I however, was still sticking to tale we created. If she wasn’t in place they would assume she was with me. She seemed to want to get closer to God but after a few of her confessions, the Elder thought that I was the deterent. That I just didn’t care about the right way to do things. I really didn’t want to disobey them or the Bible but it was so hard not do it. Almost impossible to just abstain. I mean I got most of the blame but even when I would try not to be with her; she would want to. Then afterward she would go back to the Elder and confess for both of us. Then the Elder would come straight to me, telling me to leave her alone. He thought the counsel was working but it would happen again. There would be more than a few occurrences.

The minister would come back and each time the counsel would be more stern. The ministerial staff advise that her and I should stop seeing each other. They said that we both need to get closer to God so that we could build a foundation. We couldn’t seem to stop sinning long enough to hear what they were saying. We decided to refused the church’s counsel and continue to fornicate. As time passed the sermons from the pulpit would address the issues of sex outside of marriage. This became so intense that we both decided to get married and just be done with it.

My pastor refused to marry us and so we were married by my aunt behind the church’s back. We decided to just get married so people would leave us alone. I clearly knew that I didn’t love her and I believe she wasn’t in love with me either. There were problems in our marriage almost immediately. She and I both were being attacked by a spirit of lust which would open the door for adulterous activities later in the marriage. These activities created a violate home environment which eventually pushed me back to alcohol usage. We would struggle to stay together for about two years and the marriage would finally end in divorce.

ConversationswithCoyfee: After you two finally got married, how did adultery come in?

B-fade: There was a tragedy in her family and she was away helping make arraingements. During the time she was away she was spending time with another man. She later confessed that they had kissed and told me that her and him were over. However, she continued to see him for sometime. One of the youth from our church saw her with the young man and that’s how I knew that she was still seeing him. When I would come home, things had changed; she seemed depressed. She would say things like: she didn’t want to be with me anymore and just be out right mean. She would say stuff like that I was ugly and unattractive. Her rejection wounded me and made me more susceptible to the direction that enemy was pushing me towards (adultry).

I was in a group called Christian Brothas and we were invited to do a gospel play. While rehearsing for gospel play, I had met a really pretty lady. She was just being really nice to me and my wife was the absolute opposite. This girl and I were just friends but people were accusing us of sexual immorality. Which opened a dialogue concerning the gossip. We would meet up just to talk about the gossip and what people were saying about us. The next thing we knew we doing exactly what we had been accused of. I didn’t know it then but she lived right up the street from us(my wife and I). By now my wife had stop coming home and if she came it was clear she that she didn’t want to be there.

With the stress of all of this, I was really having a difficult time with the alcohol usage. My wife and I had been arguing when the police saw us. She was talking me back to the place that my car was left at. See a guy was killed directly in front of my car and so my car was a part of the crime scene. The cops arrested me because we were fighting in the car. Plus I was drinking people thought I was responsible for the guy’s murder.

ConversationswitCoyfee: Wow, a lot happened during that time. What do you believe caused you to loose focus?

B-fade: Me. My focus was on me and what I wanted. Not that what I wanted was all wrong but the manner in which I was getting it was. The relationships were not in accordance with the word. When the fire was turned up all sorts of things begin to rise up such as the continual battle with a disease called Alcoholism.

Do you battle with Alcoholism or maybe another drug addiction? Woud you like prayer? Email me and leave your contact information. We will contact you for prayer.


Conversations wit Coyfee presents A Man in the Mirror-The B-Fade Story-Part 3

In Believer who falls into sin, Black Church, Christian Hip Hop, Entertainment, Forgiveness, Spiritual healing on July 8, 2009 at 7:34 am

A Man in the Mirror-The B-Fade Story

Salutations Family!

We have been conducting a very controversial but necessary interview with Andre Woods AKA B-Fade. He has chosen to take the brave step and share times in his life that were some of his deepest darkest moments. He shares with us that even after accepting Jesus as his Lord; the struggle with alcoholism was a continual thorn in his side.

Please stay with us as we share the final portion of this heart wrenching interview with B-Fade.

This is the final part of the B-Fade story. Let’s go right into the Interview.

ConversationswitCoyfee: What do you feel like the repercussions of having lost focus were?

B-Fade: Well, the repercussions were not immediately visible. Shortly after the divorce, I had my own place and I was doing really well. However, the sinful lifestyle that had been gently sneaking up on me had finally over-taken me. I found myself doing things like partying, drinking, and just hanging out with old friends. Now looking back on it the marriage had taken a toll on me. It had weaken me and I was not even aware of it. The stress of being in a loveless marriage was really hard and before I knew it I had lost everything. My car, my place, my job, and even my cell phone. I knew I had hit rock bottom because I had lost the most important of my possessions; my self respect but hadn’t realized it then. I had planned a ministry trip and was thinking about not going. How could I minister in the shape I was in?

ConversationswitCoyfee: What happened next?

B-Fade: Well, I had planned a trip to LA before everything else had happened. So I decided to go ahead and make the trip. When I got there Nate Dog was there while we ministering. I was told he later gave his life to God. That encouraged me greatly. I felt like even though I was in such a mess on the outside; God could still used me in a marvelous way.

I knew I had to get it together and so I did. Every time God would bless me ..the enemy would do something to knock me back. I however, held on to God this time. I was going to allow the word and the spirit of God to change me. It would be harder than I had ever imagined. It isn’t easy stopping things that you have done most of your life and many times these are not things that you stop overnight. The spirit of God has to deliver you and that is what I was seeking God for; deliverance..freedom.

ConversationwitCoyfee: B-Fade you mentioned that you are married now. How did you meet your current wife?

B-Fade: That’s sort of a funny story. She was seeking a church that had Gospel rap. So she went on the internet and starting hitting up Gospel rappers’ pages on Myspace. So I had been divorced for sometime now and was doing pretty good. They were allowing me to minister at my church and I was more aware of my weakness as a man of God. So when I saw her message, I responded. I told her some stuff about the ministry and then gave her directions and she came. I was stationed at the door so I saw her when she walked in. I was like wow, she is beautiful. I remembered how I had gotten in trouble before so I gave her over to the ministers to encourage her. However we started talking and stuff. We began grow closer and I went over a couple of times. We remained faithful to our teaching, however, we both realized that we were developing feelings for each other.

It was little difficult for me cause I was living out of the area and would have drive home late at night. It was about a hour drive. She was helping me study for a test so that I could get a better job. This night she was like you don’t have to drive home tonight. You can stay over tonight. I already knew I loved her and wanted to express my love for her. So I sat downstairs hoping she would come back downstairs. She did, we celebrated our love for one another. please do not mis-understand, we new that coming together without first being married was wrong. However we loved each other. To me she was already my wife. It was not a one night stand or anything. This was and still is the real thing.

We decided to go to the ministerial staff so they could counsel us cause we wanted to get married but we didn’t tell them we had already been intimate. We wanted to know how to date the christian way. So I schooled Priscilla (my wife) on what and how to say. The next time we were intimate she was over come with guilt and she went to the ministerial staff. After she confessed it, the pastor told me that I had to stop rapping. He said that he was disappointed in me. He had not forgotten the manner of my last relationship though years had pasted. So he advised us to leave each other alone and he sat me down. I was headed down the same road as before or so it seemed. We had made the required changed and but continued to date without the sinning. Things looked hopeful and I knew I loved this woman.

One Friday night after service my ex-wife showed up and the two ladies exchanged words which led to a heated confrontation in the back of the church. Priscilla and I decided to leave because it just seemed like I was causing to much trouble in that church. Maybe about two weeks after we left we seriously began to discuss marriage. I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and wasn’t ashamed of it. We just decided to get married at the court house and find a new place to worship that didn’t know either of us. We did get married and started looking for a place to worship.

ConversationswitCoyfee: How are things going so far?

B-Fade: We are expecting a baby anytime now and our relationship is transitioning. We went thru some marital struggles that begin to tear the fabric of our marriage apart. When the pressure of the institution of marriage began we started a aggressive search for a ministry. My wife wanted to belong to a family; a place to worship. I was looking for a ministry that reminded me of the old church. So we continued to search but I began to fall backwards. Things were really difficult and I began drinking again. I honestly believe it is because of the pressure, the absence of the support of a church family and we were experiencing financial delay. She was angry with me because I had gotten a DUI. I was upset with her and sat in the car. I fell asleep after drinking. Someone called the police because I was asleep in a parking lot and they gave me a DUI. Mind you I was not drinking while driving but just sleeping after drinking. They gave me a DUI anyway.

So she went back to our old church and feeling scare of what was going on with me. She confided in them and told everything that was going on with me. She requested counseling for us and she had attended a couple of services.
Before I knew we were there worshiping as a married couple. But we were still getting dirty looks and stuff. Then they began to prophesy things from the pulpit and this made it uncomfortable for her. After that my ex-wife would show up and my wife just decided to just leave permanently.

It became so difficult for us to hold it together that we thought it was best to separate for a season. I didn’t have any where to go so I moved in with a close friend and his family. His name is QHeem. I began to visit QHeem’s church. I had set up ground rules for how my wife and I should handle things after we reconciled but then we had to move into a shelter. We had to vacate our apartment. We were only at the shelter for one night. I continued to attend QHeem’s church and continued to pray for strength and direction. Later that week we moved into a huge house with seven bedrooms where each one was rented to a different tenant. My wife and I got the master bedroom.

I contemplated giving up on my family but did not. Please pray for us as I receive treatment for the disease that has plagued me on and off for most of my adult life, Alcoholism.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>This just in: Priscilla and Andre AKA B-Fade are embracing life as a married couple and giving all of us the imagine of Christ and His Bride ….Which is filled with Forgiveness …Celebrate B’s restoration and his redemption<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Check back often for the Status updates on the Birth of the Baby!!!
If you would like to have B-Fade come out to your event to RAP THE GOSPEL, CALL Min.Draka Tucker at (707) 430-6693. If you would like to contact B-Fade for any other reason, CALL (424)214-0106.

This has been the story of B-Fade’s life before and after Christ. We hope it has encouraged you to get up and try it again. If you are struggling with any of these problems and would like prayer, please email me and one of us will be happy to pray with you..If you would like to recieve Christ please email one of us and we will be happy to contact you for prayer..

Talk to us! Tell us how you feel about our new segment on featured artist..

Please Click Here >>>>Part 1 of The Man In The Mirror-The B-Fade Story<…


ConversationswitCoyfee discusses The Differences in Repentance and Confession of Sin

In Believer who falls into sin, Black Church, Forgiveness, Spiritual healing on July 6, 2009 at 12:12 pm

The Difference in Repentance and Confession

Hello Family

What is the difference between Repentance and Confession of Sin?

I awoke with a very clear understanding on the topic of confession and repentance. Many Christian scholars stated that Confession comes before repentance. They will tell you that God is faithful enough to forgive you if you confess your sins.

Well what happens if you commit the same sin again? A friend and I were talking about this issue. She stated that if you continue to live in sin you are not sold out to God. I really didn’t argue that point but I stated that David, one of my favorite patriarchs, sinned often, yet “God stated that David was a man after his own heart. Samuel 13:13-15.”

I wondered about a lot of things, for example; the scripture that states if we confess ours sins he removes them and remembers them no more…Isaiah 43:25 I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins. Well, if he remembers the sinful behavior no more, how does God know that we have committed the same sinful behavior before? That one is still stewing. We as a people of God spend far too much time focusing on our failures. We are so sin conscious that we can not see the power of God in everyday life.

As I napped this afternoon, I know that the spirit of God was helping me to understand what Confession is. “Confession is the admittance of sin; Encarta Dictionary: English (North American): an admission of having done something wrong or embarrassing; verbal statement admitting the commission of a crime.”

Ponder examples of everyday life..We should allow people to come to God just as they are..This is as it should be. Remember, that Jesus calls us while we are deep in sin. He does not demand that we give up anything to come to him but he knows that once we become immersed in his goodness, we will desire to change. He will not disqualify us because we look and smell like the world. He will draw us closer to him for He longs for us to long for Him.

We the (Saved Al readies) begin to judge them. They are not changing fast enough. They still smell like the stench of this world. They are still living in sinful relationships, they are still drinking the devil’s drink, they are still smoking the herbs of the earth. How can they think that God can love them. They do not look like nor sound like what we do, Saved Al readies. Confession is to admit that you are wrong. Confession does not require you to stop doing that which is wrong. The scripture states that if you are faithful enough to confess your sin then God is faithful and just to forgive you..” period. We should not add anything else to this point.

Now Repentance, to feel regret about a sin or past actions and change your ways or habits. This is paramount. We must be spiritually wise enough to be able to sense who Jesus is talking to when he is dictating the Holy Scriptures. Confession, is the admission of sin. Confession is to acknowledge bad behavior or a negative act. Repentance, I believe is being sorrowful and desiring a change. To repent takes the Goodness of God. How will someone know that God is good? Well by the love that is shown to them in Christ Jesus. The love of the Saints seen as gentle patience. This weak one gains strength to stand against what used to weigh him or her down. Scripture tells us in Romans, it is the Goodness of God (Romans 2:4-11) that brings a man to repentance. Understand, not the brow beating of other saints that are disgusted with the look of delayed progression.

It is for the Spirit of God to begin to gently tear that behavior away from them. Now, keep in mind that the Holy Spirit knows the heart of man. He knows those that sincerely desire to walk with God though they have a limp. There were those who desired to follow God with everything that they have, because they love him. They walked slower than the rest because they have been injured in their fight for freedom. Yet, they were still walking, or crawling, and in some cases were being carried. They were determined to follow him.

Many of them looked like the world. There were not dressed for the part but still they came. They cried out to Jesus to change them everyday and every night. They read their bibles daily. They didn’t eat at all to slay their flesh. All this they did and still some fell back. Did we reach out to them? Did we do all that we could to attempt to save some? The answer is NO! We have become religious and callous. We have become the people we use to hate. When we first came to Christ, many of us were beat down by rules and regulations. Some of us were kicked out of churches because we did not dress right. Some of us were kicked out because of where we lived or we lived with. Is it not amazing that we have become what we had hated? How does God protect those, his little children? They are His prodigal children. He blinds many of them to the ways of the church. This will keep them coming so that the anointing can begin to do what we thought we could do thru talking. I have a News Flash for you! The only way to set a person free is thru the anointing of the Spirit of God.

You can talk until you are blue in the face but if you are not anointed you should shut up. God will begin to mend the tears generated by the world, the church, and the enemy piece by piece. He (Holy Spirit) begins to place himself where there used to be other things. He begins to reveal more and more of himself to them. The more of him they see the more of him they want. Are they perfect yet? NO, but neither are we. We the Saints or the Saved Al readies, sin daily either by thought or deed.

Why then does not every person, confess their sins and repent of their sinful behavior? I believe a lot of that is because of us, the Saved Al readies. We can be really mean and short cited. We will throw the baby and the bath water out together.
Now, I am not stating that we should not teach from the Bible, whole the truth. However, we should not teach our opinion, nor our interpretation, but just the word of God. His word has healed many a broken spirits. He, who is the potter, knows how to gently press out the blemishes that have marred our precious souls. He softly places us on the pottery board to adjust our damaged inner parts. He can repair us all. No matter what activity or life style we chose before we knew him. He can and will repair us.


Conversations wit Coyfee discusses Suffering in Silence within the Walls of America’s Black Church-HIV/AIDS in the Black Church

In Believer who falls into sin, Black Church, Fashions African, Forgiveness, Hiv/AIDS, Spiritual healing, women talk on July 6, 2009 at 11:55 am
Suffering in Silence within the Walls of America’s Black Church

HIV in the Black Church

Many in the black church are suffering with the fear of death. They are the grown up children that used to run around the church yard playing hide and seek. They are the young men that sang the old gospel songs and the young women that prayed prayers of healing. These are the young people that decided to grow up in America’s Black Church. Many are not married and do not have any children even though they are in their mid twenties to late thirties. Some appear to have taken a vow of celibacy but there are hidden relations going on. They no longer choose to fight their desires for same sex relations and hence they have begun to embrace this lifestyle at an alarming rate.

Now, we must be clear; not every person that has HIV/AIDS is a homosexual male. However many believe HIV/AIDS is a homosexual disease. That being the case those infected are often treated like modern day lepers. Why, because the church shuns the very thought of homosexuality? Since, they secretly desirer the same sex. They are treated as if they have already been judged by GOD and have been sentenced to HELL..

Having been raised in the Black Church, I know all to well that the discussion on sex and sexuality is mum’s the word. Some churchs are making a bold step and are beginning to discuss sex within the marriage. However, sex within same sex relationships are not popular semon starters for the Christian community. Based on a teaching that I have recieved in church same sex relationships are an abomination to God, this teaching is in response to Romans 1.24-1:26.

It reads..Romans 1:24″..Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves. 25: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. 26: For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

Now, I must go on record as stating that GOD is LOVE and He loves everyone..John 3:16
“FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life”.

Many suffering in Silence may wonder what the bible has to say about this sin or maybe below “…Then I acknowledged my sin to you (God) and did not cover up my iniquity. I said ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD’ – and you forgave the guilt of my sin.” (Ps 32:5)

A news reporter had this to say about HIV?AIDS in the black church.. CBS News correspondent Randall Pinkston explains in part two, some churches are starting to begin the conversation. black church – traditionally a loud voice for social change – has been curiously silent on the crisis of AIDS in the African-American community, and some say, even negligent.

When Demarsh Tarver contracted AIDS in Alabama, he says his minister told him to pray for forgiveness. “When I reached out to the church, I felt like I had been condemned because of my lifestyle,” Tarver said. “I basically told him, in so many words, to go to hell.” Check out our Video section for a clip of the above interview with Mr. Tarvar.

Despite the fact that pastors across the south have offered small consolation to people infected with the virus, AIDS activists say they need black churches the help stem the growing tide of new HIV and AIDS cases. While African-Americans represent 19 percent of the south’s population, Pinkston reports they’re 56 percent of new AIDS cases in the region. It is an issue that the people of God must address, said Reverend Claude R. Alexander, Jr., of the University Park Baptist Church in Charlotte, N.C.

So please allow that love to minister to you as I share one young man’s story of his suffering in silence in the black church. He has been diagnosed with HIV and is a christian that desires to be delivered from homosexuality. He is an amazing young man and please read his story without judgement.


Conversations wit Coyfee: Mr. Barnett I noticed that you stated in the article that your church did not know that you were HIV positive.  Can you tell me if anyone at your church knows now since the article?

Mr. Barnett: Well they dont know because of the article someone knows because it licked out when i was using facebook and wrote it on somebodys page that i was doing motivational speaking for H.I.V also telling my story living with it that is how one person found out.

Conversations wit Coyfee: Can you also tell me if and how your life has changed since the article in Vesselvibe was published?

Mr. Barnett: My life really has not changed because i used a fake name and only people in my family and close friends know about the article so it really has not changed my life yet but has changed my view on somethings from the comments people are leaving.

Conversations wit Coyfee: Can you share with our readers what type of feedback have you been getting from your audience?

Mr. Barnett: I have been getting postive feedback for the most part some comments people have personally e-mailed me was kinda rude but i just take that and build myself up i love my haters and negetive comments because they are like a elevater they take me higher and when the smoke clears and the dust settles at all cost i shall succeed.

Conversations wit Coyfee: You mentioned that you were interested in doing motivational speaking, how is that dream coming along?

Mr. Barnett: My motivational dreams are starting to come together the more i put the word out to people that can help me and i tell my story to they are very happy to help me like i have three events lined up and one B.E.T rap-it-up will be there so i am just staying prayed up and asking god to help me. By the way if there is any event you can use me to speak please e-mail me or if you can help with contacts or want to help me with my campaign/staff e-mail me.

Conversations wit Coyfee: Mr. Barrett, please tell our readers anything that I have not covered but that you would like to share with them.

Mr. Barnett: Well first i want to thank you Tammie(Conversations wit Coyfee) for giving me this space and allowing me to answer some questions that readers may have. If you have not gotten a chance to read my article of my life and how I contracted H.I.V please go to it is under the features section Titled I’ am a christian living with H.I.V. It will bless you also I want to give three shoutouts first to God who is making this all possible and keeping me growned to the agency that is helping shape me and mold me ROYAL PRIEST HOOD . Thank you so much for even taking me under your wings and helping me. Then I want to give a big shout out to a lady named Lisa Mosely she helped me get my business cards together. Please visit her site at

Lastly people it is time to stand up and speak out about this epedimic. I don’t know if you know how bad this is but 1 million people are effected in the U.S.A and 3,000 people don’t even know there status. Please get tested and also educated so that you will know your facts and how not to contracted this disease. My motto is “I speak to the mind to encourage the heart to make a change. Ok before I go and you get tired of me I have two messages for two diffrent people. The first message is to the affected: I am here and living with this virus and I am making my dreams come true this is not a death sentence but it is the newness of live for you. Yes when you find out you might kick and scream but after that is all said and done you have to push yourself off because there is still life to be lived. Be encouraged. Also God stated a agreement in john 11:4 this sickness is not unto death but for His glory you are only going through this for Gods glory so that you will prosper in whatever area in your life that you lack power.

The second message is to the uneducated and undereducated people, please get to know the real facts. There are ten most common myths out here about the disease that will keep you thinking negatively toward your brother or sister that is positive. So get educated and know your facts and rap it up so one day this virus won’t get you. Thank you and be Blessed. These were comments given by Mr. Barnett.

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to e-mail Mr. Barnett at

Did this interview encourage you? If so tell us about it. We want to know your stories of life and success. Talk 2 Me..Please leave comments..