Archive for the ‘Dating and the Single Woman’ Category

ConversationswitCoyfee presents A Man’s Point Of View: Why Women Cheat

In A Man's Point Of View, A man's Version of the Dating Game, Adulterous women, Ask the black man, Dating and the Single Woman, Uncategorized, What is True Love?, Why Women Cheat on August 30, 2009 at 4:20 am

Well folks what do you say? Do you agree with the writer? Why do women cheat? Is it that some women want their cake and to eat it too..

Let me know what you think?

Coyfee signing off


A Man’s Response To Why Women Cheat Posted Aug 18

So, I’m reading this article on the ‘Hello Beautiful’ site titled, 3 Reasons Why Women Cheat, and I have decided to give you women some advice based on what I have read:

 Feeling Lonely in a Relationship

Ok, realize that men sometimes go through this as well so it’s not gender based when it comes to feeling lonely. The expectations placed on a man while in a relationship should be discussed as opposed to being expected, ESPECIALLY if your man happens to be popular or very driven when it comes to his career or work. If you are feeling lonely, it is up to you to include him in other activities that he may not normally be involved in where you wouldn’t feel so lonely. Also, keep in mind that, just like women, guys like to hang out with the fellas every now and then, so if your expectations are greater than he is willing to give, then you may have to resort to the infamous female support group! Otherwise, occupy your time with your passion and goals so that way when the two of you DO get up, the time together will be cherished even more while both of you are trying to achieve personal goals and dreams!


Feeling Taken for Granted

 As stated above, men go through the motions when feeling like they are also taken for granted. But instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the positive and as with any relationship, whether work, play or friendship, this can be a task. But as with any task, there has to be common ground so that it can be completed to satisfaction! What most women tend to do is focus on their needs and themselves when having a conversation about ‘us’. You also need to be open to hearing and catering to his needs and wants as well so that way BOTH of you can be equally fulfilled! I hate to word it like this but, it has to be a mutually binding agreement so that way no one feels taken for granted, you give a little, I give a little and hopefully, we both benefit greatly!


You Are Leading Separate Lives

Well, as with anything in life, you grow, sometimes together, sometimes apart. It should be the focus of both partners to extend themselves to each other so that way both of you are still on the same page when it comes to a common bond which should be love. We can’t help who we are or who we become based on life experiences and what most women (and men!) don’t understand is that it is BECAUSE of you that he decides to take another direction in life, whether negative or positive. We should make each other stronger but at times, we tend to get weak out of being used to being with the one we are with, so we can and do get complacent. So, communication may be the most important tool in this situation so you can understand what the other is going through in order to want to stay in each others live! You can lead a separate, yet together life if both parties are getting what they want out of it, specifically on an emotional level. But you MUST discuss it with each other!


Revenge Can Be Bittersweet

This is definitely a hard thing for women and ESPECIALLY men! Since society accepts cheating men more than they accept cheating women, we, as men, are distraught when we find out that our woman has cheated, even if we were caught first. Hey, don’t blame us; society has made it acceptable for us to get away with cheating! Nonetheless, if it’s within a marriage, when you take your vows, you said for better or for worse, so you must remember that when you do find out as we, as men, have to think along the same lines. As far as a lover, I would say it should be based on what is transpiring in the relationship as to why the cheating was done and if it can be, not only forgiven, but placed aside for the good of the relationship.


The Ego Needs Stroking

As far as ego, I can safely say that the male ego is more robust than a woman’s ego, so we are at a disadvantage when it comes to that, especially if we are attractive or have a status or have money or have all three! Women are always eyeing us, trying to get our attention and with the slightest bit of neglect from you, make it easier to submit to the desires of a woman who is obviously trying to give us the goods. So, if anything, if our egos need stroking, guess what, something else of ours will get the stroking.

ConversationswitCoyfee presents A Man’s Point View: What is True Love?

In A Man's Point Of View, A man's Version of the Dating Game, Dating and the Single Woman, expressing her support for the troops as they prepared to invade Iraq, Forgiveness, Spiritual healing, Uncategorized, What is True Love?, women talk on August 8, 2009 at 11:38 am

Hi Guys and Gals..

I have been pondering the same thing.  This peace submitted by one of my close friends is an interesting topic. LOVE..I must be honest and share that I think I have been chasing it all of my adult life. LOVE..someone to hold me when I am scare..someone to caress me when I am lonely..someone to assure me that all will be well when I am uncertain..someone to be amazed by every inch of me..adoring the very dimples on even my thighs..(I am a big girl) smile..

I have hoped that one day a man will enter my life and be the missing link but until then I the fullest..not down trotten..not angry..not forgetting to every breath as a gift from God. I will live everyday to the absolute fullest..if that MAN never arrives..I will have lived everyday to the absolute extreme..AND Love should it tarry will be a welcome guess in my home…

For now the LOVE of GOD is usual and eternal. He never stops loving us even when we forget that He is there..

Coyfee signing off…

What is True Love?

Posted on August 6, 2009 by theoraclemag

love canvasWhat we could use in the world today more then anything else is love. True love, real love. If mankind had authentic love for one another, war, world hunger, homelessness, abuse, crime and so on would all come to an end. Love begins and ends with GOD. He is the author. It was created by him and out of his nature. When we, as Christians were filled with the Holy Spirit, he gave us the spirit of love as a gift. It is his desire that we share this gift with all that we come in contact with. We are most like GOD when we show love. In truth The Bible records the greatest love story ever written, GOD’s unconditional love for his that sent his “Sun” to die on the cross (John 3:16; 1 John 4:10).

Love is more then attribute of GOD. It is in fact apart of his nature (Dueut. 7:7-8). According to the Bible “GOD is love,” that is he is the personification of love (1 Jn 4:8, 16). This type of love out reaches human understanding (Eph. 3:19). The love of GOD is everlasting (Jer. 31:3), free (Hos. 14:4) sacrificial (Jn 3:16), and enduring to the end (Jn 13:1).

In GOD’s Word there are two different Greek words that mean “to love.” The word phileo means “to have ardent affection and feeling,” a brotherly love. This is why Phillidphia is known as “the city of brotherly love.” The word “agapao” means “to have esteem or high regard”

GOD blessed Each of us with spiritual gifts. Shamefully many of us use these gifts to glorify ourselves. According to 1 Corinthians 13:2 this has nothing to do with love. But then in verse 3 of the same chapter Paul teaches that giving with out true love is pointless. If we give to feed our pride, we are giving in vain!

Remember we said “GOD is love” and love is his nature. 1 Cor. 13: 4-7 list the Characteristics of love which so happen to be the characteristics of GOD. Love “is patient,” meaning it suffers long with people.; no matter the evil and the injury done by a person; no matter the neglect from a loved one, without anger. Love “is kind,” meaning it is good, helpful and giving. It does not hurt. Love does not envy; it does not get Jealous. Love does not boast; does not brag or seek honor or recognition. Love is not proud or arrogant and conceited. It’s not about thinking your better then others. Love is not rude. It is full of order and control. It does not shame itself. Love is not self seeking, meaning its not selfish. It seeks to serve. Love is not easily angered, not ready to take offense. Not “touchy.” Love keeps no record of wrongs, does not consider the wrong suffered. It suffers the evil done to it and forgets it Love does not delight in evil or take pleasure of the sin of others Love rejoices when the truth is rooted and grounded in a person and among all people. Love Protects and bears all things. The Word protects or bears means both to cover all things and to bear up under all things. Love always trusts. It is completely trusting. It accepts and believes the very best about a person Love always hopes; it never stops hoping. It expects the good to eventfully triumph. Love always preserves. The word preserves is a military word meaning to stand against the attack of an enemy. Love is strong and full of fight.

But are you full of Love?

ConversationswitCoyfee presents A Fairy-Tale: Gulf War penpals get married after Facebook encounter 19 years later

In 13-year-old Jaime Benefit wrote a letter addressed to "Any Soldier" during the Persian Gulf War, A Man's Point Of View, Dating and the Single Woman, expressing her support for the troops as they prepared to invade Iraq, Nearly two decades ago, Uncategorized, women talk on August 6, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Ladies, miracles still happen. Read below..I thought some joy was needed in light of all the violence we see in today’s society.  Kinda makes me still hope a little for Mr. Right..or Mr. Wrong with a change of…

Coyfee signing off…


Gulf War penpals get married after Facebook encounter 19 years later

BY Stephanie Gaskell

Tuesday, August 4th 2009, 12:42 PM

Jaime Benefit and Jeremy Clayton met as pen pals during the 1991 Persian Gulf War. 

They reconnected this year over Facebook and were married July 15 on the beach in Charleston, S.C. They reconnected this year over Facebook and were married July 15 on the beach in Charleston, S.C.


It started with a letter – and ended in a wedding.

Nearly two decades ago, 13-year-old Jaime Benefit wrote a letter addressed to “Any Soldier” during the Persian Gulf War, expressing her support for the troops as they prepared to invade Iraq.

The letter made its way to Pfc. Jeremy Clayton, a 19-year-old soldier from Charleston, S.C., who was serving with the 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment.

The two became pen pals, writing back and forth about sports, high school and their families.

“Just stuff to keep their minds off of what was going on and keep their spirits up,” said Benefit, 32.

After the war ended, the two stopped writing, but Benefit always wondered what happened to Clayton.

“I’d always kept his letters,” she said. “I had them wrapped in a red-white-and-blue ribbon.”

Earlier this year, she searched his name on Facebook and sent him a short note: “Were you in Desert Storm?”

Clayton, 38, now out of the Army, saw the message and had one reaction: “Shock and awe.”

“I just knew I had to find out what she was doing,” he recalled.

The two agreed to meet in March, and their fate was sealed.

“It took my breath,” Clayton said of seeing his one-time pen pal in the flesh. “I was actually shaking and I’m a pretty strong man. I just said to myself, ‘You have to do whatever you can to make sure you spend the rest of your life with this woman.'”

Clayton proposed not long after, and the two got married July 15 in a simple ceremony on the beach in Charleston.

“It was fate that I got her letter,” he said. “And her finding me 19 years later was fate.”

The Internet may have brought the newlyweds together, but they still rely on good old pen and paper to keep their bond strong.

“She writes me notes every morning and puts them in my lunch,” he said.

ConversationswitCoyfee presents A Family Affair:M.C. Hammer’s cousin, who now stands accused of Raping a Woman

In Dating and the Single Woman, MC Hammer's Cousin wanted for suspectedly raping a Woman, Uncategorized, Violence Against Women, women talk on August 1, 2009 at 2:04 pm

big marvEveryone has a cousin and M.C. Hammer has one that is suspected of committing sexual assault with woman he met on a social network. Read below..

Coyfee is signing off….

M.C. Hammer poses for a publicity shot pumping his Youtube competitor,, near Pier 41 in San Francisco, Nov. 20, 2007. LIVERMORE, Calif. (CBS/AP) Hey, guess who’s using Twitter. According to Northern California police, it’s M.C. Hammer’s cousin, who now stands accused of raping a woman he met on the social networking site.


 CBS affiliate KDKA-TV reports that 33-year-old Marvin Grant, also known as “Bigg Marv,” was arrested for investigation of rape Thursday in the sexual assault of a 40-year-old woman who arranged to meet him at a Livermore hotel Wednesday night. Livermore Police Lt. Matt Sarsfield says the two developed a romantic relationship over e-mails and phone calls. Police say Grant attacked the woman after she declined his advances.


“He’s about 300 pounds, and was able to pin her down and kep one of her arms down while he sexually assaulted her,” Sarsfeld told KDKA. Grant, who is also known as Marv, appears on the rapper’s reality show on the A&E cable network. The show follows the rapper and his family at his Tracy home. Acccording to KDKA, MC Hammer’s twitter account announced that someone named “Big Mike” was on the way to bail Grant out of jail. An earlier tweet from the #MCHammer Twitter account announced, “Marv has been picked up. Were standing by him. Welcome to Fame Cousin Marv. Were Praying for you.” It wasn’t immediately whether Grant had a lawyer.

ConversationswitCoyfee presents A Man’s version of The Dating Game

In A man's Version of the Dating Game, Christian Carter, Dating and the Single Woman, How to successfully date, Uncategorized, women talk on July 25, 2009 at 1:56 am

Hello Ladies!

I have the newest email from Chrisitian Carter. He speaks about the type of men that we attract. I must be honest that I often feel like this alot. I could be in a room with 100 guys. They could all be from different backgrounds all good guys except one. I would be drawn to that one.  So I am checking out what he has to say. Well I must admit it can’t hurt..So check it out and let us know about your successes…

This is Coyfee signing off…

Stop Attracting The Wrong Men

Tired of being single and not having the kind
of love in your life you know is possible?

How would you like to hear about the quickest
and easiest way to meet a great guy, know that
he’s truly good “relationship material” for you,
and start a new relationship that could end up
being the one that lasts forever?

If you’re looking to finally find the right kind
of man, while at the same time making sure you
end your own pattern of wasting your time with
all the wrong guys… then it’s time you made
good use of your energy. The very best way to
find and attract the right man to you starting
today is right here: Hey, 

 I’m going to throw out a few
situations that come up with men that you might
be wondering how to handle.

    Then I’m going to show you what to do in
these situations.

    Let’s get started…

    Here are some of the most common questions,
statements, and scenarios that women I’ve talked
to and helped in my seminars and programs talk

    See if you identify with any of these:

-“I don’t have a problem meeting men, but I
seem to attract all the WRONG GUYS. Why is this?”

-“I’ve been hurt before, and I don’t feel like
getting back out there and dating again. How do
I get myself to a place where I can open up to
a man again and go about this?”

-“I’d love to be with a great guy and enjoy a
close and loving relationship… but there don’t
seem to be any good single guys around. Where can
I meet a genuinely good guy?”

-“The moment I finally do see or meet a great
guy, I get nervous and uncertain and I don’t
really know what to do or say to get his
attention and interest. What should I do, and
how do I know if a guy is interested?”

-“I’ve heard that other women have met their
boyfriends or husbands online, but online dating
is not for me.” Or… “I tried online dating and
it didn’t work for me.”

    Let’s get right to the first scenario and
the question that goes along with it-

Scenario #1:

    “I don’t have a problem meeting men, but I
seem to attract all the WRONG GUYS. Why is this?”

    If I had a nickel for every time a woman
shared this experience with me… then I’d be
VERY well off.

    The fascinating part is that almost every
woman who shares this experience seems to believe
she’s one of the only “unlucky” women around
who has this problem.

    Meanwhile… TONS of other women have this
exact same problem of dating all the “wrong

    What’s going on here?

    Let’s break the situation down and take a
closer look.

    I’ll start from the very beginning…

    You meet a guy, you feel a strong level of
chemistry and connection for him, and you get
involved with him.

    Then comes your first mistake-

    Only AFTER THE FACT, once you’ve already
become sexual and intimate with him, do you
start to find out who he REALLY IS and what

    He wants his “freedom.”


    He’s not looking for a “serious relationship”
right now.


    “It’s not you, it’s him. He’s just not ready.”

    Of course, hearing this AFTER you’ve already
spent time with a man, become intimate, and grown
more and more ATTACHED to him is a total WHACK
upside the head for you.

    I’m betting at least one of these reasons a
man can give for NOT wanting to be with you
sounds strangely familiar.

    If you’ve had this happen to you with a man,
and perhaps had it happen more than once… the
question is how come this kind of thing is so
common with men?

    How come a man will PULL AWAY even when you
really hit it off and there’s a great relationship
right in front of you both?

    And why do so many men so often use these same

    Is it because men really and truly are

    Or is there something else going on?

    Something a little deeper than a man suddenly
pulling away out of fear, or for no good reason
at all.

    I’m going to suggest to you that there is
in fact something else going on at a deeper level.

    The best place to start is to address the
idea or belief that way too many men are afraid
of relationships.

    I have a very different perspective on this
than you might have heard before.

    I DON’T believe that men are afraid of real

    Not at all.

    I believe that men simply don’t care much
about relationships until they feel and experience
that intense flood of EMOTIONS that takes over
their body and mind.

    And that flood of feelings and emotions that
takes over a man’s thoughts and desires, and is
capable of literally causing a man to do a
complete 180 degree turn away from his prior
wants and beliefs, is commonly referred to as

    Of course, when I’m talking about this kind
of powerful and transformative force… I’m not
just talking about your run of the mill “Physical

    A man can experience that 3 times a day
simply by laying eyes on a woman.

    This kind of Physical Attraction has very
little to do with WHY a man will want a REAL
RELATIONSHIP with a woman (although it is also a
necessary component).

    In other words, there’s something else a man
must experience with a woman that goes DEEPER

    And if you don’t know what this other thing
is, how it works, and how to create it inside a
man once you’re getting to know each other and
“dating”… then it’s going to be VERY DIFFICULT
for a close, loving, and lasting relationship to
come together.

    To put it bluntly, without this “other level
of attraction”… a man just isn’t going to feel
it for you in a way that will have him pursuing
you for more and wanting to get even closer to

    Instead, he’ll simply be satisfied with
spending time here and there with you on a
“casual” basis… and he won’t have much interest
or desire to get much closer to you in love and
a relationship.

    This is how a man works.

    If he doesn’t FEEL IT with you… then no
amount of TALKING to him about opening up or
COMMITTMENT is going to move things along.

    In fact, if you try and talk your way into
a relationship with a man “logically”… odds
are it’s going to completely BACKFIRE and he’s
going to become increasingly DISTANT and
eventually pull away altogether.

    You’ve seen this happen before.

    Don’t keep making the same mistake so many
other women make trying to CONVINCE a man to
engage in a relationship… when the only way
a man truly gets involved and STAYS with a woman
is when the emotional experiences he’s having
with a woman (the deeper attraction) tells him
that this is the one woman for him.

    Luckily, if you don’t have the right man in
your life right now, and you don’t know how
this “other attraction” works, I’ve got some

    I’ve taken the time to put together an entire
in-depth program that shows you what this “other”
deeper and more intense and lasting attraction
is… and I show you exactly how it works and
how to create it with the man in your life.

    You can learn all about that “other attraction”
that will keep a man both physically AND
emotionally bonded to you and get free tips on
how this works right here: 

    And if you’re single and just starting off
with “dating” and meeting new men… it’s a
whole different situation than when you’re
already with a man and you want to take the
attraction and connection between you to the
next level.

    In that case, you need to know how to find,
identify, and capture the RIGHT MAN’S attention
and interest… and then you need to know how
the dating process works with a man.

    Once you learn all this, moving from first
meeting to the first few dates to a growing
and thriving relationship becomes easy… as
you know all the steps along the way and can
easily move from one to the next with the man
in your life.

    Don’t let the common “traps” that other women
fall into with dating get in your way.

    For the ultimate guide to meeting a great
guy and getting things started off right, and
to get to the very bottom of the things that
keep getting in your way of creating a truly
loving and lasting relationship from the start…
you need to check out my “Meeting The One”

    In the letter I’ve written with all the
details and samples from this program, I share
the single most important thing you need to
know as a single woman dating a man that will
INSTANTLY TURN OFF the right man and cause him
to suddenly pull away.

    If you don’t know what this is, and why so
many women make this same mistake, then you’re
bound to keep messing things up and pushing the
man who could be the right one for you away.

    Go to the link below to learn this, along
with exactly what it is you can say and do that
will quickly have a man knowing you’re “the one”
for him and carrying your relationship forward
in a fun and easy way for you.

    Don’t wait. Go here now: 

    Oh… and if you’re single and having
a hard time meeting good guys…

    Then I want to share with you the absolute
quickest and easiest way to find a great guy,
make sure he’s true “relationship material”,
and start to connect with him on a deeper level
right away.

    It’s right here:






ConversationswitCoyfee presents A Man’s Version Of the Dating Game (part2)

In A man's Version of the Dating Game, Christian Carter, Dating and the Single Woman, How to successfully date, Uncategorized, women talk on July 23, 2009 at 8:04 am


Hi Ladies,

This is Coyfee. I have Christian Carter’s new email listed below to help you identify and attract a great guy.  Hope it helps you..Send us your success stories..I am sure Christian will love to here about it. Well ladies enjoy and good luck..

2 Sure-Fire Ways To Identify & Attract A Great Guy

If you’ve ever wondered about what draws a man in to connect deeply with a woman early so he can’t help but want to see her again (for more than just a fling) then keep reading… I’m about to share secrets about meeting and ATTRACTING great men that some women know but won’t tell you, or can’t explain.  You’re also about to hear insights into how attraction, dating, and relationships honestly work for men, and what to do about it.     Here we go…

Have you ever noticed that just talking to men for the first time, getting to know each other, and exchanging contact information can turn into some kind of impossible puzzle or “game?”    And the more you think about it or about trying new things, the more you just want to avoid the whole thing? It’s frustrating and annoying, right?  Does it have to be so much work? Can’t we both just be ourselves and get past all the tricks, games, etc.?

Well, the truth is, it doesn’t have to be such an ordeal and seem like such a game…if, and only if, you know how attraction works for a man.  I’ll repeat that. It doesn’t have to be a game IF, and only if, you know how attraction works for HIM.

Notice that I didn’t say how attraction works for YOU.     Have you ever thought about how attraction actually works for men, and how it could be different than how it works for you? Well, then let me ask you… Do you know what makes the difference between a man flirting and perhaps feeling some “physical attraction” for you, and a man who becomes almost INSTANTLY CONNECTED and attracted to you on a deeper physical AND emotional level?

I’ll give you a minute to think about the question… Got it yet? Give up? The thing is, lots of women THINK they know how things SHOULD WORK with men, but their idea or “strategy” just hasn’t seemed to work out so well
in their long, and sometimes disappointing, relationship history. And the crazier part is that most women never really change their ideas or “strategies” on how they go about finding and creating love, connection, and commitment in their lives with men, even when they just aren’t working.

So how can YOU change your ideas and “strategies” to find and create a strong love connection that really LASTS? I’ll share the answer with you in just a minute, but first I’d like to talk about HOW ATTRACTION WORKS around first impressions and early on in the “casual dating” stage.

Then we’ll look at the “deeper” kind of attraction a man can feel for a woman and talk about some specific “how-to’s” that will instantly take your love life to a more fun, resistance-free level as you and a man get closer and closer.


Have you had several relationships fall apart in the past, the same way with different men? And when it happened, did you start to think that all men have a common set of problems or “issues” that they can’t see for themselves, let alone do anything about? Well, if you recognize this, then odds are you’ve also had that fear and doubt in the back of your mind that there was also something wrong with YOU here, not just with him. And, unfortunately, you also blamed yourself for some of HIS problems and shortcomings.

    Ouch! Don’t go to that negative place.

The truth is that you’re not alone, and the good news is that it doesn’t take months or years of therapy to find your own understanding of how things REALLY work with men, and to stop being so hard on yourself about it.     And it doesn’t take months of intense schooling or training to change your love life for the better and get back to that open, connected, loving place with a man – a place that you know is there for you. Let’s talk about how things often work in those first encounters between men and women, and what’s going on underneath the surface here… becausefirst impressions are VERY IMPORTANT. Why? The short explanation is that men make almost INSTANT JUDGMENTS about how they feel about a woman right when they first meet them.

Everything that happens after a man has a first impression of a woman logged in his mind gets “filtered” through that impression, and it colors almost everything he sees and feels. So what impression are you making?   Do you know?  And what impression is THE BEST ONE to make?   Let’s start with the basics and look at the situation early on when a man asks a woman for her number.

When this happens for a man, it generally means one of several things:  “I think you’re interesting enough to see again and find out if I could be attracted to you…” (not feeling much attraction or connection yet, but curious)” I had a great time talking and I’d like to do it again sometime…” (likes the conversation and attention, but he doesn’t “feel it” yet, even though there’s a “logical” or rational connection or bond with things in common) – “I’m physically attracted to you, and I want to hook up with you, but I haven’t really thought about anything else it might lead to or mean for me…” (feeling just a physical attraction, with no thoughts or conscious intentions beyond getting
physical) – “I feel attracted to you, and maybe “something more”… so I want to see you again to explore these feelings and find out what you’re really all about…” (feeling both a physical attraction AND a deeper connection)

Any of these look familiar in hindsight?

Well, for women who are in a place where they want a real, loving, lasting relationship, it’s important to know what a man is thinking early on and where he’s already at from the start.    NOT finding this out is one of the biggest
mistakes that women make because they invest a TON of their precious time and energy with a guy who has no plans for having a deeper, loving, lasting relationship.    So… you may want to read that last sentence again — it’s ESSENTIAL to achieving success in the next relationship you start with a man.

Here are some quick communication tips for you to think about and use early on with men to help identify the good guys from the ones that don’t have a clue:

1. Don’t Be Afraid To Ask Questions

    So many times I hear women talk about how they don’t ever want to come off as needy, “-itchy,”  pushy, etc. with guys.  And often times, women will say something like, I don’t want to scare him off…”   Two things are important to know here about asking questions and finding out the “real deal” early on:

A. Only IMMATURE men who already have fears and resistance to commitment and relationships will actually get “scared off” IF a woman asks questions in a mature, playful, and conversational way.

The upside here is that emotionally mature and open guys will be drawn in, not pushed away. In fact, direct questions, communicated in the right way, are THE KEY to figuring out what kind of guy you’re dealing with – plus they provide you with all kinds of answers about the man’s real character and mindset by his response.  But some women refuse to believe that men can communicate on this open level because of their experience. I want you to go back to the sentence above about immature men. And now I want you to notice the “IF” there… “IF a woman asks questions in a MATURE… way.” It makes all the difference. So often we get caught up in our own perspective, or dealing with and breaking through resistance and fear, that we don’t realize how much it affects our own subtle communication. (Think body language, voice tone and pattern, heart rate, etc.)

B. Context is EVERYTHING

Have you ever noticed that you can say almost anything and have it mean almost anything, just by changing the look on your face when you say it, the tone of your voice, or the emotional state you’re in? It’s fascinating to watch men and women communicate, because up to 90 percent of the things we learn and identify about each other happens through silent, indirect communication. But sometimes you don’t get the whole story, right? Exactly. So it’s important to be able to ask questions to find out what you need to know.  Like whether he’s genuinely ATTRACTED to you, or if he’s just a player looking for a quick connection… and then he’s “out.”    One great question I’ve heard women ask men is, “What kind of woman do you respect?”    Asking this question in a playful way sets the right tone for a man to respond in a way that creates attraction without putting a man “on the spot.” This not only challenges a man in a playful way, but makes him think and will teach you a lot by how he responds.    But remember, the CONTEXT of your communication is the key… If you say that, and it’s all about an “agenda,” such as finding the love of your life in your first meeting at a bar…, then I promise it’s not going to go over well.    (But you already knew that… wink wink)    On the flipside, if what you’re indirectly and silently communicating is that your questions are about fun, learning, and most importantly –CREATING ATTRACTION, then the man will keep FEELING that connection to you, and respond in kind.

2. Learn What Actually CREATES ATTRACTION For HIM

There are several key “attitudes” and mindsets that men are naturally and magnetically drawn to and seek out in women that they like to spend their time with.  When men interact with a woman and they see and FEEL these attitudes and “ways of being,” they become instantly attracted… and often don’t even know why.  In fact, many times they can’t help but want to commit to something more serious with these women, even if they didn’t consciously want more coming into the relationship. Let me share with you one of the secrets of how ATTRACTION works for men… One of the most undeniably attractive attitudes or qualities for men is when a woman is
UNPREDICTABLE. I don’t mean unpredictable in that she might lose control emotionally and get irritated, upset, frustrated, etc. with him or with anyone else around her.  No. That would actually be a turn-OFF for most
healthy men…    The unpredictability I’m talking about is being playful, challenging, and creating intrigue.

 In my “Catch Him & Keep Him” ebook I devoted an entire chapter to this very subject. Take a look  at Chapter 7, titled “How To Attract Men.”  In this chapter I not only outline the physical AND behavioral traits that most men are looking for, but I also describe the attributes that DRIVE A MAN AWAY.  

The way that YOU answer questions in that initial conversation with a man can also TRIGGER attraction. A great example is when a man asks, “So, what do you do?”    Here’s the boring, PREDICTABLE response that might seem very “nice” and appropriate, but doesn’t create attraction: “I’m an accountant and I run spreadsheets to calculate P&L.” Or, “I do PR, and I work with so and so clients who had me create a campaign about blah blah blah…” But wait… these are interesting things about you as a person that someone should know about and value, right? Yes, but guess what? Predictable responses make for great conversation to get to know each other – if you want to be JUST FRIENDS.  And yes, your career might be great and say important things about you, but you’ve got to realize that it doesn’t make a man FEEL ATTRACTION for you.  Just like it’s not a man’s career that makes him attractive… it’s his personality, the chemistry you share, and WHY he does the things he does.

    Following me here?

Good.  So instead, find a way to keep him guessing…Tell him some made-up career that’s ridiculous, silly, obviously untrue, and lets him know you’re having fun with him.    In case you didn’t realize it, men will have MUCH more fun trying to GUESS and think about what you really do, rather then just hearing it from you right away.   If you think about the animal kingdom, the female of the species usually selects her mate by either accepting or rejecting the male’s advances and courtship behaviors.    The same pattern has gone on with humans for hundreds and thousands of years.  By “playing the courtship game” with a man, you are appealing to deeply ingrained patterns within him — things that he is not even consciously aware of.

For example, if you’re at a bar, tell him “I’m a social scientist doing research here to uncover how ‘beer-goggles’ really work on men.”    And then you say, with a wry smile on your face as you look at him in a playful and fake suspicious way, “How many drinks have YOU had?”  Guess what? A guy will know exactly what you’re doing and JUMP into the fun with you… and he’ll probably even make up a silly joke career of his own to kind of challenge you back and take things up a notch.   And now you’ve got a fun, engaging connection… instead of a predictable, emotionally unengaging, and rational conversation about your real jobs.    There’s plenty of time later to get to those
things by the way and cover the predictable life stuff. But if a man doesn’t FEEL ATTRACTION from the start, on a deep emotional level, then everything else will be more difficult and move slowly (if at all) with him.    Create the attraction first, and everything else will follow.


So I’ve given you some quick tips on how attraction works, and some basic “how-to’s” to think about for first impressions and early on.    But we’ve just touched the tip of the iceberg about how men really think and feel when it comes to dating.    This is by no means all “the goods.” In fact, attraction is THE cornerstone to creating any successful relationship with a man — so much so that I created an entire program with women, for women called “Natural & Lasting Attraction.”    This program was filmed before an audience of women and we covered an AMAZING amount of material.    If you want to go quickly and easily with a man from “Hello…” to a first date.    And then from meeting up again, to talking and sharing deeper things about each other… And then from physical attraction to a more lasting “emotional attraction”…

And end up all the way to him saying, “I have to tell you, something. I think I love you…”  Without dealing with all the mishaps, tension, doubts, resistance, uncertainty, etc., that most women experience along the way because the man in their life isn’t “sure” about the way they feel about them… then you need to check out this program right now. You can watch some free video clips and hear some of the women who’ve already worked with the amazing material tell you about the benefits that they got by going to the link below.

    You’ll be AMAZED by what you hear and learn:





ConversationswitCoyfee presents A Man’s Version Of the Dating Game

In A man's Version of the Dating Game, Dating and the Single Woman, How to successfully date, women talk on July 21, 2009 at 2:03 am

What If He Doesn’t Call

I was browsing a online dating site and ran across this piece. I must admit it was an interesting read.  So I thought I would share it with you.  Let me know how you feel about..

The author’s name is Christian Carter. I have included his links below. Check out his site. What if he is right? What if Carter’s concept really works..then it could really shed light on the mysterious “Man”. I know from experience the mysterious “Man” has confused me along the way. Guys often say we(women) are confusing..most of them(guys) never studied themselves..Smile

Let me know if you would like more info on dating and single life?

On to Carter’s advice..Coyfee signing off..  


Note: When a man doesn’t call you much, or he
stops calling altogether, he’s sending a clear
message about his feelings and about what he
thinks of you. But most women don’t know what
this message means… and what to do about it.
If you’ve dated a man and he suddenly stopped
calling after a few great dates, and you didn’t
know what to do about it, then read THIS: 

Ever wonder why the man you’re dating and
having an amazing time with doesn’t call you
very often?

 Or worse… stops calling altogether?

If you’ve ever had this happen to you with
a man, then you know how FRUSTRATING it can
be when a man just suddenly stops calling
for what seems like no good reason…

And you’ve spent more time than you’d like
to admit wondering what happened and what YOU
might have done wrong.

Most women in this situation fall into a
kind of trap that seems to work against them…

 Instead of recognizing that the man not
calling is an important signal in of itself,
they become obsessed with wanting to know what
he’s thinking and WHY he’s acting this way.

But most women also know on an intuitive
level that coming out and actually asking a
man why he’s acting this way wouldn’t bring
about anything good.

And guess what?

Their intuition is right.

With most men in this situation, if you
want to connect with a man and grow closer,
then the answer is NOT to try and get him to
talk about his thoughts and feelings.

It’s time you learned what it really means
if a man isn’t calling… and what to do
about it to quickly “turn the tables” in your
favor so that he’s the one calling and asking
you out.

I’ll share this with you, but first I want
you to read this email I got recently from a
reader about this exact kind of situation.


First of all I think you are great and have
learned a lot from reading your book. I am
divorced and have been dating a widower for about
a month. We get together once or twice a week – I
don’t expect more than that – as he lives about
half an hour away from me. Our dates are great and
there is a definite physical attraction on both
sides. My problem is that in-between dates I don’t
hear from him. I know that he works hard and is
bringing up 3 children on his own – but how long
does it take to pick up the phone and ask me how
I am? Am I asking too much? Is it too soon to
expect anything? I don’t want to complain and
frighten him off, as I really like him. What do
you suggest?

Looking forward to hearing from you
R.J. from Illinois


Ok, let me get the facts straight here…

You’ve been out with a man for an entire
month. (Not long at all, and effectively NO
TIME in a man’s mind)

You’ve seen each other once or twice a week
or so for 3-4 whole weeks. (Not even enough for
a man to see you as “dating”)

    And you know he is busy and raising three
young children on his own. (His attention and
focus is admittedly elsewhere.)

But in just a few dates you’ve already become
disappointed and “bothered” by the way he’s
being… and you’re wishing he would CHANGE.


This is bad for YOU, and for him.

The approach and mindset you have right now
is almost guaranteed to make this man see you
as too demanding and “needy” to want to be with
you, when it’s just a few weeks in.

So I hope you haven’t started talking
about all your feelings of disappointment with
him yet.. because it wouldn’t go over well
with the way you’re looking at things.

But here’s the worst part of all this…

You already have my eBook and you’re still
asking me for the “easy” answer on this, as
though there is some magic pill I can give you
that will make a man act the way you want or
expect him to be.

I’d like to be able to lie and tell you
that I could change a man for you.

But I can’t… and you know it.

The truth is, I’ve only got YOU to work
with… and you’ve only got YOUR OWN thinking
and your own behavior that you can use to
make a difference.

It’s time you started thinking about how
you can take RESPONSIBILITY for creating the
RESPONSE you want in a man…

Instead of sitting around frustrated that
he hasn’t met YOUR EXPECTATIONS you have for
him. (Especially when he doesn’t even know
what these are.)

You need to open up my eBook and go to
page 32. There I want you to read the section
called “Initial Thoughts” at least twice
and think about what’s going on there.

I want you to think about the 2 types
of people I talk about… and the kind of
“magic mindset” that’s going to help you
naturally start creating great situations
in your life.

Then I want you to think about how this
relates to the idea of COMMUNICATING with
a man in a way that creates ATTRACTION
inside of him.

As opposed to communicating with a man in
the way that KILLS the attraction he might
be feeling for you.

Once you’ve thought about this, I want
you to go to page 36 and read the section
on “How To Be Honest About What You Want.”

Pay attention here to the 4 important
questions you need to ask yourself BEFORE
you get involved with a man, or start talking
about your relationship with him.

And make sure you learn and understand
what I call “a unique habit of happy people.”

If you could apply this one simple habit
to your love life, I know it would immediately
give back to you the kind of understanding
and satisfaction you’re seeking but not meant
to get yet from the man you’re dating. (Hint –
there’s a reason why you and he aren’t totally
“connecting” yet, and it’s NOT all about him.)

 And by the way, you can download a free
trial copy of my eBook at the link below right
now, and be reading it in just a few minutes

Download and read my eBook here right now: 

Now, you’ve also asked a great question in
your email…

 “Am I asking for too much from him?”

Simply put – YES. You’re asking for too
much because you shouldn’t be ASKING HIM for
what you want and then hoping that he “meets
your demands.”

This is a LOSING APPROACH that will 100%
guarantee that a man won’t want to give you
what you’re looking for.


Well, it’s not because you actually are
asking for too much.

It’s OK to know that you’d like a man in
your life who you’re involved with to call
you more.

But this isn’t about whether this is ok
for you to ask for.

No. This is all about THE WAY you ask,
and the emotions and expectations a man will
see that you’re holding onto when you open
your mouth and you’ve been going through a
whole lot of disappointment and frustration
with him… while he’s thinking that you’ve
been out on a few fun dates and everything is
fine and dandy.


Here’s something you might not have thought

Men often communicate and show their
feelings in less “direct” ways than simply
saying and expressing how the feel.

In fact, most men are a whole lot more
conscious of DOING things than they are of
how they effect and relate to others on an
emotional level.

So… when a man doesn’t call, it’s often
NOT an indication of something else going on
for him that he might want to talk to you

Often times it’s simply an indication that
he doesn’t actually FEEL like spending more
time around you.

So he simply doesn’t call.

In other words, when it comes to men and
dating, it’s best to look at a man’s ACTIONS
how they really feel inside.

As a woman, you can probably spin your
wheels dreaming up all kinds of incredible
and elaborate ideas and scenarios for why
a man isn’t calling and what it means about
his feelings and your situation.

 But, if you’re interested in doing more
than analyzing and trying to figure out things
in your own mind… then it’s best to “read”
the men you’re dating early on by what they
DO… and NOT what they SAY.

 Which means… a man not calling you often,
or at all, is an important signal in and of

 If a man is spending time with a woman
he “likes”, but he isn’t sure if he would want
much more than a few casual dates with her…
then here’s what he does…

He only calls her every once in a while to
keep the “connection” open… making sure not
to let the connection die, but also making
sure not to spend too much time with a woman
or show her too many signs of interest that
might indicate he’d want a more serious

And yes, some men actually think this way
and are CONSCIOUS about NOT CALLING women
very often if they don’t want things to get
more serious.

While other men who don’t call are usually
doing this inadvertently as they’re going
about their life and not thinking much about
wanting more with a woman.

Here’s what you need to take away from
all this…

If a man isn’t calling and you’d like him
to call more and to grow in your relationship
together, it really doesn’t matter WHY.

The only things that matter are if he’s
not calling because he’s not interested in a
relationship with you ever.


If  he’s not calling because he’s just not
feeling “that way” for you YET.

Which begs the question – how do you get
a man feeling “that way” for you if he’s not
feeling it yet?

Well, for starters, you need to STOP doing
the things that will promise that a man WON’T
feel it for you.


Or getting upset and hurt that he hasn’t
called when there’s no “relationship” yet,
and it’s just YOUR EXPECTATION that he SHOULD
call more.

Or generally taking on any other needy,
clingy, or overly emotional behaviors that
will have a man thinking you’d be nothing
but a pain if he was to get to know you and
involved in a real relationship with you.

What you need to do instead is to start
to learn the behaviors that create the
feeling of ATTRACTION inside a man.

Why attraction?

Because attraction is the one thing that
will “override” all the logical reasons a
man has for NOT wanting to get involved with
a woman or stay single…

 And will take over his “emotional world”
and have him thinking and acting from his
EMOTIONS with you… instead of his “logical
mind” that will often try to RESIST a woman
and a real committed relationship.

The very best way there is to learn how
attraction works for a man and quickly start
using works with men to create a deep level of
LASTING ATTRACTION inside the man you’re dating
is to get a copy of my “Natural & Lasting
Attraction” CD/DVD program.

In this program I show you 6 Keys to
Lasting Attraction with a man you need to
know about if you want a man to see you as
the only woman he wants to be with.

 If you don’t know about these critical
6 Keys To Lasting Attraction, then you’re
going to struggle with a man eventually.
It could be when he shows up in a few
months or years and says, “I love you, but I’m
not IN LOVE with you.”

Or when he loses his physical interest in
you and you know your not “connecting” the
way you used to… and you worry he might
be thinking about or seeing another woman.

The truth is, if you learn how to keep
that intense level of attraction ALIVE in
your relationship… and you know how to
make a man feel attracted to you on a physical,
emotional, and “intellectual” level, then
your relationship with him will largely take
care of itself.

  If you want to learn how to create an
intense level of attraction in a man… and
keep it going, then you need to try out my
“Natural & Lasting Attraction” program on CD
or DVD right now.

It’s here: 

 I’m so confident that this program can
and will show you everything you need to
know about making a man feel that amazing
“something” that he knows he can’t experience
with any other woman that I’ll even ship it
to you and let you try it out for an entire
30 days free.

 Try it, decide if you like it, and if you
keep it I’ll bill you in a few small easy

But best of all… your love life and the
way men respond to you will change for the
better FOREVER.

Go here now to read all the details about
what you’ll learn in this program, and watch
some free sample video clips from the program: 

And if you’re struggling with the level of
sharing and COMMUNICATION you have with the
man in your life, or in your past relationships,
and you’d like to learn what it really takes
to CONNECT with a man on a deeper level than
you ever had before… then I’ve got good news.

There are several SECRETS to communicating
with men I’ve already shared with thousands of
other women that have literally TRANSFORMED
their lives and their relationship in a matter
of days.

Wouldn’t it be AMAZING if instead of taking
the time and effort to share how you feel with
a man and have him not really LISTEN or respond…
wouldn’t it be incredible if you knew how to
help a man quickly and easily “get” what you
were talking about?

Wouldn’t it change your life if you knew
how to help HIM become a better communicator
with you… so that he would be able to better
understand you and relate to you?

 And wouldn’t it be a whole new world if you
didn’t have to have all the arguments and
misunderstandings with a man that come from both
of you not being able to really HEAR what the
other one was saying?

 In my “Communication Secrets” CD/DVD program
I share with you the underlying reason why
so many women have a hard time having a man
LISTEN and UNDERSTAND what they are trying to

  It really is possible to have the kind of
“connection” with a man where he seems to “get”
what you’re saying and where you’re coming from
before you even finish what you’re saying.

You know that this is possible because
you have this with some of your friends.

Well, it is possible between you and a man.

But only if you’re willing to take the
time to look at what’s going on at a deeper
level when men and women are communicating…
and only if you are ready to be the one to
start the process of change in the way you
and a man talk to each other.

    One of my favorite quotes that has stuck
with me over the years is…

 “Let change begin with me.”

 Are you ready to live the life and the
relationship you know is possible by learning
to master the single most important “skill”
there is in a loving and lasting relationship?

 Then it’s time you tried my “Communication
Secrets” program right now.

    All the details on this program, and some
free communication tips are here: 

Tell me if you liked this peace? Talk2Me..Please